Search found 17 matches

by bk_writer
Sun Jan 16, 2011 7:20 pm
Forum: Workshop/Critiques Wanted
Topic: Untitled
Replies: 4
Views: 1279

Re: Untitled

I probably shouldn't have posted that one just yet. I just wanted to get a few tips on it. I know it needs a lot of work.
by bk_writer
Sun Jan 16, 2011 3:35 pm
Forum: Workshop/Critiques Wanted
Topic: Untitled
Replies: 4
Views: 1279

Untitled

Her breath was ragged, she felt so weak. She fell back on the bed in an exhausted heap. She saw the commotion but averted her eyes. She felt her heart breaking as she heard the cries. It was crying out for her but she could not oblige. It was just a product of the monster with evil eyes. Its' lustr...
by bk_writer
Sun Jan 16, 2011 3:21 pm
Forum: Workshop/Critiques Wanted
Topic: Untitled
Replies: 1
Views: 995

Untitled

I see your future, but all you see is the image in the glass Your hands trace the girl you see, transfixed with the image in front of thee. Perfect blonde curls and perfect blue eyes, no one knows what lies beneath. The throngs will worship and praise, but this is merely just a phase. Time will alw...
by bk_writer
Thu Jan 01, 2009 7:26 pm
Forum: Workshop/Critiques Wanted
Topic: Boy Soldiers
Replies: 8
Views: 2801

Re: Boy Soldiers

Thanx for the tip. I know it needs to be more developed. I was just going to have the main idea of it analyzed. But I definitely like the suggestion.
by bk_writer
Sat Nov 01, 2008 4:12 pm
Forum: Workshop/Critiques Wanted
Topic: Boy Soldiers
Replies: 8
Views: 2801

Boy Soldiers

There they stood, with a confident gait. The uniforms crisp and clean, the swastika gleaming. Standing at attention, they face their king. These are not men, but merely boys. Boys that were groomed at their birth, to become perfect little soldiers. Taught to be cruel and treat everyone differently. ...
by bk_writer
Mon Aug 04, 2008 5:22 pm
Forum: Workshop/Critiques Wanted
Topic: Seventeen
Replies: 3
Views: 1235

Seventeen

She asked me what I thought [indent]as she told me her story.[/indent] But what could I say? She looked so perfect and young. As if time left her untainted. But inside the girl cried. The doctors told her the news. She would have to fight to live. So she took all the treatments, [indent]looking for ...
by bk_writer
Mon Aug 04, 2008 2:38 pm
Forum: Teen Spirit
Topic: The Well
Replies: 3
Views: 1602

Re: The Well

This is a very visual poem. The poem is so beatifully put togethor, that I get a continous image throughout.
by bk_writer
Wed Jul 02, 2008 6:41 pm
Forum: Workshop/Critiques Wanted
Topic: The Mistake
Replies: 7
Views: 1909

Re: The Mistake

Thanks for the suggestion and I like that style of writing too. The kind that makes you think and fill in the blanks.
by bk_writer
Mon Jun 30, 2008 4:50 pm
Forum: Workshop/Critiques Wanted
Topic: The Mistake
Replies: 7
Views: 1909

Re: The Mistake

Thanx. ill definitely change the words. I see your point on those two words.
by bk_writer
Fri Apr 25, 2008 2:30 pm
Forum: Workshop/Critiques Wanted
Topic: Untitled
Replies: 3
Views: 1346

Re: Untitled

that sounds good. i always have the hardest time naming a poem.
by bk_writer
Sat Apr 19, 2008 1:50 pm
Forum: Workshop/Critiques Wanted
Topic: The Mistake
Replies: 7
Views: 1909

The Mistake

One night. One mistake. Now she contemplates. To rid herself of this precious life. She feels a flutter, a real human being. She's too young, being only 16. Her dreams vanish with the decision she makes. She holds a little girl, pink with a lustrious cry. A mistake they call the babe. But to her, sh...
by bk_writer
Fri Mar 07, 2008 10:24 pm
Forum: Workshop/Critiques Wanted
Topic: Untitled
Replies: 3
Views: 1346

Untitled

The satin dress of dull gold. Her dark skin glowing beneath. Luscious, soft black curls. Her undeniable beauty captivating. The princess everyone wants to be. Yet she is but a prisoner, the crown her captor. A prisoner of her own family. Of a country she must forsake. Trapped and desperate, she long...
by bk_writer
Thu Jun 21, 2007 12:10 pm
Forum: Teen Spirit
Topic: Restless
Replies: 3
Views: 1309

thanx. actually i do experience this. i havent ever been diagnosed with ADD but i was told i was borderline, when i was little. i have these what i call "ADD moments." alot. i learned to adjust but i just want ppl to understand what its like to go through that.
by bk_writer
Wed Jun 20, 2007 9:59 pm
Forum: Teen Spirit
Topic: Restless
Replies: 3
Views: 1309

Restless

My mind starts racing. So many thoughts running through my head. To stop my brain is impossible. I can't concentrate on one single thing. My energy level sky-rockets, to the moon! Energy surges through every inch of my body. I feel like I could run a marathon. Though, all I want is to be calm again....
by bk_writer
Wed Jun 20, 2007 9:18 pm
Forum: Teen Spirit
Topic: The Personality We Choose
Replies: 2
Views: 970

thanx. actually this isnt exactly "true". i like writing stories and this is a poem about a girl named Isabel who has an uncaring dad. it kind of plays into the story. and dont worry ur not overstepping boundaries. this is her opinion, her dad just shut himself off after her mom died 9 years ago, an...

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